“Being buried by your own thoughts and fears, especially when you know it’s happening, can feel like a burden with a rusty flat-tired wheelbarrow turned over on top of it, where spiders and snakes like to hide before they SURPRISE! you. Fortunately, surprises are inevitable and keep us from being buried, even if means enduring the venom. Gratitude is generally the antidote.
And so, like a rising phoenix, I emerge from the ash of my compost heap. I curtsy to the living and the dying of all prospects, objects, and subjects. To understand joy I am grateful I know suffering. To heal from loss and forgetfulness, I am grateful I forget that I ever knew all is already perfect. There’s no other way to truly express love and compassion until you can be trusting, loving and compassionate with yourself. It is this safe journey thru layers of contradictions that I accept life as it is in constant renewal, constant creation. A constant things-are-never-going-to-be-the-same-again-wow-this-is-f*cking-serious transformation. I am grateful for what I see, and everything I won’t ever see.”
sometimes i feel utterly useless, like when i know someone is hurting, and yet i don’t know what to do/can’t do anything to help.
like now.
i guess all i can do is to let that someone know i’m always here, no matter what happens.

2 comments
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April 19, 2011 at 9:23 pm
alysaohm
hey, dun think so much. Haiz. Maybe these days my posts are always sad, its an outlet for my grieve and sadness. Dun worry, i m ok, and trying hard. I know that i have frenz like u by my side, thanks for always there for me!!!
April 20, 2011 at 10:14 pm
tsannabel
aiyo i should be the one cheering you up, why you come cheer me up instead:S haha.. shopping shoppinggg! to chase the blues away